White men tell the truth?

Do white men fantasize about black woman?

I swear since I turned 30 more white men(corporate men), are interested in this beautiful black skin then brothers.  One of my dearest friends is a white woman (she does not date black men) and every time we go out I have more white men trying to hit on me then she does.  The flip side of the situation is that she has more black men trying to get into her panties then I do. I am not hating on her because most of the guys who are trying to make her acquaintance only want a one night stand.  I often find white men staring at me in admiration and trying to have lengthy conversations with me about ANYTHING under the sun.   My job affords me the opportunity to travel to many different states and so at first I thought that it was just a northern thing but no matter where I go I run into the same situation. I asked a white male friend recently, “Are they lusting after me simply because they want to know how feels to sex a black woman?” My friend said, “No!”  I tried to get him to elaborate on his answer but he seemed confused... more like I was asking him a question that only folks in his secret covenant knew the answer to..........

I am not saying that I have not admired white men in the past….shit who doesn’t think Brad Pitt is sexy but I have never acted on my admiration. I guess I am secretly wondering many different things like:

1. How is the sex?

2. Does he want me JUST for the sex?

3. What will my mother/father think?

4. How in the hell can I explain this one to myself?

5.What will his friends/family think?

Shit, I am sure many people have the same questions so don’t frown at my questions.  I guess the older I get the more I need to open my eyes to other opportunities.  I’m just not sure if I am ready to open that door yet ….I sometimes wonder if I am limiting my options because I have chosen to date black men exclusively. Will someone PLEASE let me in on the secret?

SPICE--

Comments

[Kris]

I love the "but they only want her for a one-night stand" comment but I digress.

I don't know what it is about white men and sisters. But from what I have heard of you you are one of those put together sisters that white men would be proud to bring home and brothers are too scared to try.

But in regards to your question about sleeping with one... I can't see myself doing it... I mean ... unh uh. And bringing one home HELL NO. My mom and dad would have a fit. They are PC and all that but... a far as me bringing a white man to their door. My stepdad would say "He better be the taxi driver"

[BronzeTrinity]

I'm answering these based on my experience with dating interratially.
1. How is the sex? Fine sometimes but I don't have much to compare. It think it would be easier with someone who doesn't say first off "I have never been with a Black woman before", or if he doesn't know not to mess up your hair. They may act like they don't notice the racial difference but they do.

2. Does he want me JUST for the sex? In my opinion yes, atleast for me. I had guys who thought I was great but I couldn't meet their parents because they would apparently kill them. I think many of them think its an experiment and they just want to "try it out and see where things go".

3. What will my mother/father think? Not enthusiastic.

5.What will his friends/family think? Well the family question is above. The friends seem to be okay but I don't think his friends take it seriously. Besides, who knows what they say when they are alone. My friends were okay because they had the dating habits. I don't think some other people, especially Black people, were okay with it.

My biggest problem is that white men never see racial issues the way I do. Many believe that the solution to the 'race problem' is to be colour blind. That ends up being ignoring Black culture and issues and never talking about race. The never got me so I stopped dating interratially.

[Rose]

Very deep post! Though I can't help you since I have been married to the same Black man for 23 years. But I do understand your delimmna. Initially I would have said date blacks only, but I have grown and realize that many black women will not get married if they wait on dating their own race. So many black men prefer others- so don't limit yourself.

[BronzeTrinity]

Sorry I don’t mean to spam you but there is a young African American film maker named Kiri Davis and if you vote for her on Cosmo Girl she could win a $10,000 scholarship. You just have to watch her video and it is well worth the watch. Here’s the link http://www.cosmogirl.com/entertainment/film-contest-vote and please spread the word!

[iamnotstarjones]

when you consider dating interracially, do you also consider latin, asian men?

because lately the dating scene for black women dictates that we need to be open to men who find us attractive and worthy of love, no matter than race.

I can't generalize because my interracial dating experiences have each been different but I will say when I would hear 'Wow, I could never introduce you to my parents', I would end the date immediately and be glad my time was freed up for more worthwhile pursuits!

[BronzeTrinity]

"Wow, I could never introduce you to my parents', I would end the date immediately and be glad my time was freed up for more worthwhile pursuits!" Yeah, I entirely agree with you now, but for someone with very low self-esteem like I had back then, I was willing to accept that. That also shows how hard it is to date interratially. Even if the guy is fine with you, the parents, extended family, or friends might not be. If a guy can't bring you home, or doesn't want you to meet his friends, then he's not that into the relationship. I wonder how many other girls or women have gotten the "My parents will kill me if I bring you home" thing. I'm never dealing with that crap again.I could kick myself. But at the same time I didn't want to meet the parents in case they were racists. What if they insulted me and made the guy dump me. Too much of a pain.

[Kris]

I don't know what I would do if a man told me he couldn't bring me home. That's tomfoolery at its finest.

[Spice]

Thanks for the advice...This weekend I was visiting my sister in Atlanta and we went to IKEA. So this really attractive white man was staring at me the whole time (I told you guys it happens to me all the time). Anyway, my sister finally said, "My God he is going to stare a whole through you". I smiled at him and kept on moving down the aisle.
I wanted to speak to this attractive man but I was too afraid of the "next" move. Shit, its one thing to write a post it's another thing to actually have his number in your telephone. To be honest, I wanted to meet his acquaintance but I was afraid of myself.
I would like to believe that I have more in common with a black man but nowadays....WHO KNOWS!!!!

[bygbaby]

I know it is 2007 & Sistas got options but I gotta stand up for my single brothers (without kids, disease or sexy secrets) who are out there. Sometimes they are right in your face or around the corner. Believe in chance (and patience (smile))

Bygbaby

[Debo Blue]

Great post. I've dated interracially before and my best male friend is white.

Before my forties I believed white men only wanted to test the Mandingo fantasy of having an insatiable black woman around the house so I gave them no play. And truth be told, I thought I'd be married to a black man so I thought I could afford to be selective.

I have one cousin (female) and one male cousin who have married interracially and our family get togethers are strained but civil.

I say we should find someone we love, close our eyes and just go for it. Life's too short.

[Spice the Girl]

Debo Blue I can only imagine the stares and sarcastic comments from my family...Sugar and I talk about dating white guys all the time but its just talk. I don't think either one of us is REALLY ready to take that leap and leave all the wonderful black men in the lurch but what is a girl to do. Look I want to have children one day and the clock is ticking. I don't want my children to be young and vibrant at Disney World and me sitting on a bench somewhere trying to catch my damn breathe. Plus.... I do not believe in casual sex so I am missing out on the best sex years of my life waiting for a brother to get his shit together. Look there are a lot of issues on the table.....

[M]

1. How is the sex? In my opinion, no different than sex with a brotha, 'cept he ain't as dark and hell during the times when the lights are off...

2. Does he want me JUST for the sex? There are always men out for that, black, white, latin, whoever. Opening up your dating horizon to men of different races doesn't change the fact that you need to be careful of who you deal with and be aware of their motives, period.

3. What will my mother/father think? Have you asked them? What do they say about it? Would they rather you stay single waiting for the right brotha or be happy even if it's with white man? Only they can answer that. However, how much what they think matters is only a question you are able to answer. I love my parents dearly. They don't approve of all my choices. That's ok with me because ultimately I am the one who has to live with them.

4. How in the hell can I explain this one to myself? Explain to yourself that you gave yourself the chance to have a happy, fulfilling relationship? Hmmmmm

5.What will his friends/family think? If he's not looking to hide you (cuz that is some real live bullsh*t) and he is proud to be with you not because you're black OR in spite of the fact that you're black but because you are his woman, who the hell cares what his friends and family think? They don't cut your check or make your bed in the morning so f 'em. Uhh, I mean, they are entitled to their opinion but it's just that, THEIR opinion.

[SUGAR]

Listen. I don't know how in the hell I just read this one, but this part:

"but I have never acted on my admiration."

is an L-I-E!!! (LOL)

Let me not take it waaaay back to 1996 and a certain John Travolta-esque gentleman. (lolol) Later for that trip down memory lane. I won't even put you on blast about that one. (lolololol)

[SUGAR]

A dusty, John Travolta-esque gentleman. (lol)

[Kris]

Sugar is such a snitch... taking it back a whole decade. Lordie Lord. Get her Spice.

[Happyinlove]

Hey...I just want to throw in my two cents. I'm a black Caribbean girl, who's in love with an amazing European guy. We've been together for 2 years and I'll let you all in on a couple of secrets.

1. The sex is AMAZING! I have never been with someone who takes care of me first and is willing to skip out on himself if I'm satisfied.
2. His family adores me because I'm learning their native language. I can't believe how excited his dad is when I call.
3. We both work in corporate America, so we both take care of each other; I'm not dating him for money or vice versa.
4. My parents were worried about his commitment to me, but you know what...on Sunday's he goes grocery shopping with my mom and helps my dad cook...they LOVE him.

I'm picking out my engagement ring tomorrow...

To all you DARK skin black women who are afraid to try something new...close your eyes and love with your heart!

We get stress from Black guys all the time, but who cares...I love him.

[charley]

Hi Spicey. Wazzup? I'm a Martin Lawrence fan whose been "Wazzuping" for years.

To answer your questions... I've fantasized about individual women of all races, except maybe Samoans and Eskimos.

Guys who are attracted to a race of women in general (as opposed to an individual) are called fetishists, as an Asian woman once explained to me. She said that's not healty because it's not an attraction to her as an individual. She avoids fetishists, but she likes white guys who are attracted to her as an individual. She said I'm not a fetishist because I concentrated on her as an individual first, and her race was only an after thought to me. She said therefore I'm an OK guy.

A fetishist is a bad guy because he just wants to use you for sex and doesn't care about you as an individual, and he'll sleep with the very next willing woman of his preferred race that he can. i.e. - a guy like that will cheat on you with any woman who fits his fetish.

By contrast, a man who cares for you as an individual will be loyal to you. At least in theory.

When I have fantasies about a woman of another race, it's never about the race of women in general. It's always about an individual woman who I'm attracted to. Her racial traits add to the attraction sometimes, but it's her individual traits that make me like and want her in the first place, and the last place.

Those fantasies happen not because I'm in the mood for any specific race of woman. It happens because sometimes I meet or see a beautiful and sweet individual of whatever race.

That's why (Spice) I wouldn't take an assignment to go looking for a date with a woman who met a racial criteria. That's wrong and the behavior of a fetishist. I look at women as individuals with no predetermined racial preference. Then when I meet a woman I like, her race is whatever it is, but I picked her because of her, not her race.

As far as attraction goes, there are beautiful individuals among all races, and opposites do attract for many people. Not just between a lighter person and a darker person, but also between older and younger man and woman too (age-gap). Age-gap is another type of opposite, but much the same type of extra erotic attraction, and maybe even emotional attraction. Northern men and Southern women is another classic opposite attracting (one of my faves).

Also, just as opposites often attract, familiarity often breeds contempt. I haven't dated a lot of women, but I've dated enough to make this observation. Local white women who are very close to my age have often treated me badly. Those are the women most similar to me in all things: age, race, generation, culture, etc.

Women of other races have treated me very good, with a few exceptions.

Younger women (of any race) treated me good too, as long as they were old enough to have some maturity. Say around 25+ or so.

I had an "older than me" GF and she treated me fantastically good. She was white. Now I know if she was close to my age, I doubt she would have been as nice to me. Then again, maybe it was because she was from the South. That's actually two opposites we had there (age and culture).

I personally think that when a man and woman have enough differences between them in looks, culture, etc, they are likely to be more exciting and interesting to each other both in and out of bed, and are often treat each other with more tolerance and kindness than if they were more similar.

However, it's important to remember that there are exceptions to everything. I'm not saying an opposite person is necessarily better, but they might be good for you. Best to keep an open mind to opposite and similar people.

=========

As for your questions you asked regarding you with a white man:

1. How is the sex? Likely awesome, but that depends on the individuals involved.

2. Does he want me JUST for the sex? That depends on the guy. A fetishist wants you just for the sex and does not care about you as an individual. A guy who is not a fetishist is your standard question mark, but he might be a good guy.

3. What will my mother/father think? I don't know. They're your parents. My best guess is they'd be fine with it, if they perceive that he really cares for syou. Why not? If they think he just want you for sex, then they'll be pissed. If they perceive he's a fetishist, they'll be pissed. What they think will depend on him as an individual, if they're fair with him.

4. How in the hell can I explain this one to myself? There's nothing to explain. If you are attracted to someone, then you are. If you like them, you like them. If you love them, then you wouldn't even ask this question. By true to thyself and leave it at that.

5.What will his friends/family think? That depends on his friends and family, but usually we are a reflection of the majority of our friends and family, and vice versa. So if he's good with you, then they likely will be too.

How can you tell who's a fetishist? If the guy wants any black girl, and not specifically wanting you personally, then he's a fetishist, which simply means he's a white player after any attractive black chick he can get.

The Asian girls often get the fetishist white guys who have a fetish for Asian chicks, and they hate them. They also get nice white guys who like her as an individual, are attacted to her personally, and care about her, and they like those guys.

There's black guys who are fetishists too. Some have a fetish for blonde chicks, others for Asian chicks, or you name it. All races of men have fetishists among them.

The fetishist is simply a player who has a specific racial preference. They're players and bad guys (even if they are white and in a suit).

========

My naturally blonde haired, blue-brown-green eyed sister married a Mexian guy. My parents aren't racist at all and they wouldn't have objected anyway, but she didn't take any chances. She never asked my parents. She told them. He's a good man.

One of my cousins is married to a Chinese guy for 20+ years now. He's a good man.

The most important question is, "How are you with it". Above all, be true to thyself. Then everyone else can just deal with it.

Avoid the fetishist white guys and you'll be fine.

[charley]

I guess to say that ^ in plain English, I mean avoid the white players and you'll be fine. I mean, if you (Spice) aren't into casual sex, and I know you aren't.

Someone earlier asked about woman's parents, would they want her "to be happy even if it's with white man?"

"even"? Ouch. That stings ^.

I'd be happy to bring home a black, Asian, or any woman to my parents and I know they'd be fine with her if, they perceive her to be a good individual who cares for me. That's my family.

As for her parents, I think that if they perceive that I sincerely care for her, they'll be fine with it, and if not, then tough shit.

As long as she's loyal to me, I'm loyal to her, and if anyone's parents have a problem with that, I don't care.

[Cluizel]

Hmmm...this is one of the posts I must have missed...leave it to Charley to find it. :)

I was at workshop for work today...and because of the industry I work in there are SOOOO many more men than women. And the workshop was at a different location for a different subsidiary (so he wouldn't be in my face).

So this guy that is my type (tall and fluffy lol) sits down next to me...but he is white...like for real white...blond hair blue eyes white. But he's really cute...and tall :) (like 6'4) Anytime I would turn my head he would be looking at me...did I say anything? OF COURSE NOT! because I am shy and I would never start a convo (I know... need to work on that) Ill...and he didn't say anything either...

But...another thing was that he also had the "look"...he was attractive and all...but he reminds me of one too many racist movies based in the South (big all american looking ex football player) like I would look at him and I couldn't help but think he drives a pick up truck (you know they always drag black people behind one!) would roast me on a stake.

Yeah...I think I watch too many movies.

Sigh...I shall sit next to him tomorrow and say nothing...poo

I have dated interracially before...and although Kareem Jabari Rosenthal will never be a reality (lol) I have no issues with dating white men. My Mom already told me to not waste time being hung up on looking for ONLY a black guy...I should find someone who loves and respects me. Its my black male friends who have the issue with a good black woman "jumping the fence"

[Cluizel]

Damn! I'm long winded. lol.

Its just crazy that I was JUST looking at an adorable single guy (who just happened to be white) today.

[Charley]

That's ^ sweet Cluitzel. I'm only 5' 10" and 180 lbs, which is small for a guy of Scandinavian decent, but otherwise I look kind of similar to your description of the guy. Most of my cousins and my dad are 6' and up. Many are 6' 4" and one is 6' 7". Tall and naturally blonde is almost certainly some type Scandinavian origin.

FYI - while I'd can't read the guys mind from your description, he does NOT sound like a racist type to me.

I dislike racism and racists and I know their type well. Remember, my sister is married to a Mexican guy, and I've dated a Mexican woman before, I've had many Asian men and women friends, and two black male friends. The fact is that I've known good people of all races, and I've also known racists of all races.

Of my white friends, let me be completely honest. A few are closet racists, but most are not.

For the closet racists, I won't bring up the subject of race or interracial anything, but if they do, then I'll just say something that indicates I don't agree with them - so they know where I stand.

Like a male coworker (2 days ago) complained at lunch about his gorgeous blonde daughter being engaged to a black guy. I said, "Is he an honest man? Does he treat her good?" He said he is an honest guy and he treats her good. Then I said, "Then it doesn't matter what race he is. So don't worry about it."

I accomplished several things there. I put him on notice that I don't share his racist ideas and I don't approve, but I did it in a non-confrontational way. Let's face it, if you confront someone, they might learn to keep their mouth shut, but they never improve internally. So he learned how I felt, and he felt better and relieved about the whole thing after we talked because he got some peer support and approval of his daughter and her fiancee from me. So he started to feel better about it. Give it some time, and he'll be fine with it.

As for violent or rude type racists who cause others fear, injury, or public insult, I would never associate with those people. I got two of those type guys fired last year for publicly saying racial stuff at work about an interracial couple at work. They threatened to come get me after work. Let them try. I'm armed and dangerous (what guy in the West isn't), if necessary, but polite and kind when possible.

Anyhow, I have some experience with racists and the guy you (Cluitzel) describe is almost certainly not a racist. He does not fit the description of most racists. I'll tell you why I say that in my next post.

However, right now I've got to get back to work or else.

[Charley]

OK. Sheesh. Just got off work at 9:15 PM (Pacific time).

Hi Cluizel. Here's the thing, only the hardcore racists are dangerous, and those guys are always losers in my experience. They reek of loser. Often they're not even employed. They certainly aren't into self improvement of any type.

Did this guy seem or look like a loser? No. For that reason alone he's not likely a dangerous racist.

Then consider that he came and sat next to you. Was it the only seat left, or did he choose to sit next to you? No racist I ever knew would willingly sit next to a person of another race, if they had any other choices.

Did he smile at you or act friendly in any way? I assume he must have been friendly enough, since you liked him. Friendliness suggests to me he's not a racist.

Also, he's good looking? Honestly, every racist I ever knew was an ugly, bitter loser. I don't know if being a loser makes them become a racist, or maybe the other way around. Maybe being a racist makes them a loser. It's like the chicken and the egg. I don't know which causes which, but they are linked somehow.

This guy sounds like he's not a loser, he's good looking, he can probably get women easily. What does he have to be bitter about? Probably nothing. Hence, he does not sound like a type who'd be a likely racist.

Now he might drive a pickup, but let me tell you this. All 17 of my cousins drive 4 wheel drive pickups and look pretty much like you described this guy. My cousins are all country boys with rifles and are expert hunters, marksmen, and outdoorsman. My cousins don't have a racist bone in their bodies. They believe God loves everyone equally.

I started out a country boy myself, but I've lived in a city so long now that I'm what they'd call citified. I don't even hunt anymore and I don't want to. I still like driving out of the city to the country where I belong to a rifle and pistol range and I'll bet I can outshoot any city people in a target practice competition. However, my cousins are way better shots than I am since they practice more, and maybe they have more talent for it too.

I drive a Jeep Wrangler Rubicon Unlimited with big, tall, fat, knobby, offroad tires.

However, I dress like a well dressed businessman during the week.

My point is this - you can't stereotype a guy because he drives a pickup or Jeep, owns a rifle, and looks physically capable, or because he's from the rural country.

You have to look past those things at how he behaves as an individual and how he treats you.

I'd bet money he's attracted to you. We know you're attracted to him. He's probably a nice guy. Give him a chance.

At the same time, take the same due precautions you should with any man. If you go out with him, I'd suggest having some of your friends or family present to meet and greet him when he picks you up for the date. Then he's been politely put on notice that others know who you're out with. I'd say the same no matter his race.

If you live in the South, then I guess maybe I can better understand your fears. I'm in the West.

Now, here's an assignment for you. Say "hi" to him. Just say that and smile. Evaluate his reaction. I do that with women to test the waters. If the other person is friendly, then try to have a friendly conversation. See what happens and go from there.

[Charley]

Hi Cluizel. One last thought. You said your black male friends object to black women dating white men? That's ridiculous and hypocritical.

When I was in college I saw so many black men dating blonde white women with big tits (Scarlett Johannsen types), and sometimes Asian women, that they should be embarrased to dare say anything about anybody else inter-racially dating.

Do they think they can have it both ways, according to what's best for them?

I remember one black guy from when I was young who was a sore loser when a black girl in college liked me better than him. And why wouldn't she like me better? I was her age and good looking, and he was 20 years older than her. He acted like it was wrong for her to like me.

Next week I saw him chasing a young blonde with big tits.

Freedom is really what this is all about - at it's core. Are you free to follow your heart, or do others dictate who you can be with?

[Cluizel]

ok...I will say Hi today and see what happens (I am shy...so that will be hard enough)

The seats were assigned so he had no choice. lol. I still can't tell if he was looking at me or trying to figure out what my hair was doing (I get alot of people staring at the back of my head) lol

Hmmm....the pickup trucks are just cars but still questionable. lol. j/k (too many movies!)

I still need to go to Europe...

[Cluizel]

I am open to all races...although I do have a preference...they would just have to talk to me first. lol.

[charley]

Hi. Cluizel. Assigned seating obviously doesn't tell you anything one way or the other. Saying "Hi" will be a good, and safe start to getting some kind of read on this guy, and to maybe get to know him.

Lots of nice guys drive pickups. Then again, lots of scary guys drive pickups too. I know plenty of both types.

If you are in the South, then I can understand your fears, and I'd be careful. However, this guy really sounds like he might be OK.

If not in the South, then I'd say you're fears are way over blown and you should relax. If you are in the South, then just be cautiously optimistic. Either way, say "hi", smile, and see what happens.

If nothing else, shy people should always practice saying "hi" to people, especially those they are attracted to. It gets easy with practice.

[charley]

OK. Now you went and made me curious. What's your preference?

[Cluizel]

Well...yeah...we worked in the same group today...and there was group convo...but I NEVER spoke directly to him.

me = hopeless

The End.

Well I prefer black men...just because I would assume that we would naturally have more in common...(and for various physical reasons) but that isn't always true. I think in the past few years I had the most in common with my old coworker...oh well

[charley]

Hi Cluizel. Cheerup. You do have hope, but to attain your social potential, you must PRACTICE.

Shy people need to practice being more outgoing. I started practicing a year ago, and I no longer have any problems starting a conversation with women. I gradually learned to flirt and am now quite good at it. I'm very shy anymore, though asking them out is still a challenge.

The thing I'm now practicing is asking them out. As a woman, you don't have to go that far and ask men out, but you should practice saying "hi" and being friendly.

If you practice on women and men you're not attracted to first, that's easiest. Then force yourself to start doing the same with attractive men. It gets easier with practice. I promise.

That would help you with any men (of any race), and especially with shy men.

As for the other thing you said, the guy was 6' 4" you'd said. So I doubt there'd have been any size deficiencies.

Everyone has their preferences and that's fine.

[charley]

Typo correction ^.

I meant to say, "I'm NOT very shy anymore, though asking them out is still a challenge."

Also, everyone has their preferences and that's fine, BUT no one wants to know they're someone's last choice - like a safety net. I'm better than that.

[Cluizel]

Hmmm...I guess hello shouldn't be too hard (oh but it is) blah...I need to work on it.

I'm 6'1...short men are the only ones that are DEFINETLY last on my list...like 5'8? hell to the no. Maybe if I was shorter I would be more a stickler for race...I think everyone picks their battles (lol) and height is mine.

[Cluizel]

Sorry short guys...don't feel comfortable with you head on my chest when we hug...regardless of what race you are...thanks for playing...please enjoy these parting gifts...

[W]

I'm weary of the politics. Obama or Nobama, life goes on. I had to search a long ways back into your blog to find preObama topics. This topic one interests me.

Last week I met a very gorgeous women. I mean exceptionally beautiful! She happened to be black. Well, a nice brown, a little darker than a white girl can tan in summer, but African American in appearance, or maybe half black and half white. Not sure.

It was lust at first sight. For 2 or 3 seconds I was staring at her like a starving hillbilly staring at a juicy steak. She looked delicious! Then, I realized I was staring and I felt slightly embarrassed. I said "Hi". I think I blushed a little. She smiled a friendly and beautiful smile and said "Hi". I could see all her pearly whites (yes, I read your post about pearly whites).

She was very friendly. All SEEMED to be going well, but just then her BF walked up and introduced himself. Dam, she's got a BF! He's whiter than I am, which is pretty darn white since I'm 7/8 Scandinavian American. He looks to be all Scandinavian decent.

There are not very many AA women in this area. So I only occasionally get to meet them.

The prior two times I've had this experience - my eyes being knocked out by a gorgeous African American women who was friendly - those women were nice and friendly, but already had a BF who I met shortly after meeting her, and both times the BF was white. From my perspective, that's frustrating because they had BFs, but hopeful since AA women in the Western USA defineately would (and do) date white men.

About your concerns: Here is my list of answers from the point of view of a white male in the Western USA. I don't know how white males in the Eastern USA feel, but I do know the West vs East are very different cultures.

1. How is the sex?

I'd love to find out. ;-) :-)

2. Does he want me JUST for the sex?

I can't speak for other white men, but I'd want her for sex, love, and whatever she was willing to share and might develope.

You didn't ask "would he marry me", but I can say that I defineatly would marry an AA woman, if we mutually wanted to. I know a two black women who are married to white men and they're happy couples.

3. What will my mother/father think?

If her parents love her, they'll love me, especially when they see how good I treat her.

4. How in hell can I explain this one to myself?

There's nothing to explain. You either feel it or you don't.

5.What will his friends/family think?

If they love me, they'll love her. If anyone has an issue with it, they'd better not mention it. Really, I think my friends and family would love her and be happy for me.