Sugar N Spice

Obama Health Plan Decision

A friend of mine sent this to me a couple of days ago and I laughed my ass off. So, if you haven't read it, enjoy.  --SUGAR

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers. 

"Hello?" 

"Mrs. Sanders, please."

"Speaking." 

"Mrs. Sanders, this is Dr. Jones at St. Agnes Laboratory.  When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well.   We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband.  Frankly, either way the results are not too good." 

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
 
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV.  We can't tell which is which." 

"That's dreadful!  Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders. 

"Normally we can, but the new health care system will only pay for these expensive tests just one time." 

''Well, what am I supposed to do now? " 

"The folks at Obama health care recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town.  If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."

Obama's Kenyan Birth Certificate

Just doing my part to keep this alive. I should have posted it on Sunday. My apologies. --SUGAR

No Cloned Meat for Me! Boycott!

I don't want to eat cloned meat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What in the hell is going on in this country? The stories about the presidential campaign have taken up so much time on the airwaves in the past week, the "you know who's" are going to slip some cloned meats right into our grocery store meat freezers. Why do farmers need to clone cows anyway? Aren't they fu&king anymore!? The cows I mean. I mean, are the cows fu&king each other......

I'm so sick and tired of all the crazy shit that is going on in this country. The FDA has approved the sale of meat from cloned cows, but the USDA is asking farmers to "voluntarily" hold off on selling any until some more discussions are held as to how or whether to even let us know that we are buying meat from cloned livestock. WTF? When I buy salmon, especially from Shoppers, I've seen labels that tell me what country it's from or whether it's farm raised, etc. If they are going to put some meat on the freezer shelves, I want to see a damn red sticker that says "CLONED MEAT" so I can walk right on past that shit. There are enough hormones being pumped into these animals as it is without them now adding the element of uncertainty about some rubber-stamped beef.

What I don't get is, why doesn't the USDA make it mandatory for farmers to hold off on selling the meat rather than "asking" them to hold off? The Washington Post reports:

Executives from the nation's major cattle cloning companies conceded yesterday that they have not been able to keep track of how many offspring of clones have entered the food supply, despite a years-old request by the FDA to keep them off the market pending completion of the agency's safety report.

At least one Kansas cattle producer also disclosed yesterday that he has openly sold semen from prize-winning clones to many U.S. meat producers in the past few years, and that he is certain he is not alone.

BAMBOOZLED! This is wrong, wrong, wrong! How could they do this? It's obvious that there's a horrible disconnect between the USDA and the FDA and that's quite bizarre in and of itself. How could those two agencies not be in lock step with one another? As much as I love hamburgers, this news may just make me have to reconsider. I haven't had any babies yet! I don't want some cloned meat tainting my eggs. And, I forgot, the sperm of my future husband! Do you know how much beef men eat!? Sweet Jesus! This is some true bullshit! Let me go see what I can do to take a stand on this because this is too much. I heard something earlier today about human embryos having been cloned, but I don't even want to hear any more about that I'm so disgusted about this frankenbeef revelation.

Check out the O'Jays, "For the Love of Money" below because be sure, the love of the almighty dollar is all up in through this fiasco. --SUGAR

I Now Pronounce Thee, Showerhead and Wife

My apartment complex has been undergoing major renovations. Everything from the parking lot pavement to the shrubbery and trees to the toilets and as of yesterday, mailboxes, have been replaced. Last week, I received a notice that they'd be replacing my commode and thought nothing of it. The one I had was perfectly fine so far as I could see, but when I got home that evening after they'd put the new one in, I noticed it was all bright and shiny, and a bit smaller than the last one so I appreciated the gesture and kept it moving. Then, later that night when I got ready to shower so that I could retire to my bed, I pulled back my shower curtain, turned on the water and heard a new, different sound. The sound of true power and force. I looked up and it was almost as if I could hear angels playing harps on high--there was a shiny new shower head.

One of my favorite parts about staying at swanky hotels is the nice shower heads. So reliable and powerful, just like, oh say...you know, whatever else you require good reliability, power and force from... When I heard that familiar sound in the privacy of my own home, it was enough to make shivers go down my spine. I'll skip the details, but by the time I'd gotten out of that shower, I had probably used enough water to quench the thirst of at least 100 of those kids from the "Feed the Children" commercials. I couldn't break free from the powerful grip that water was holding on me!

When I got out of the shower, I collected my thoughts, lotioned myself up and lay in my bed fully aware of just how badly this latest bout of the "I need some di$k" is going to be. I'm determined to keep these legs closed, but I know myself and when I start grinning a little too much at those slick types that have gotten me in entirely too much trouble in the past, that's when I really have to shut 'em down and keep my ass in the house before I catch a bad one. So, until then, meet my new boo. That's his picture here in the post. He's an environmentalist. *sigh* --SUGAR

Election 2008--The Road Not Taken

Congratulations to the Hillary Clinton campaign on last night's win in New Hampshire. In reflection about what the coming weeks and months will mean, I was reminded of one of my favorite poems. A piece that one of my high school English teachers hammered into my head--Robert Frost's, "The Road Not Taken". This poem describes exactly the position I'm in personally at this very moment with regards to this election season. As an African-American, I would love to see an African-American bring home the gold. As a woman, I would love to see a woman bring home the gold. But, in light of how critical it is that we take back the White House from the Republicans, my decision is to go with the more likely winner and that person is Hillary Clinton. I'm not going to rehash why I think she is more likely again, read previous posts and the comment sections of each should you care to know my view.

Besides, I don't do bandwagons, preferring to carefully weigh my decisions about things of this much importance. And, as that same high school English teacher who hammered the Frost piece into my head told me, "You have an uncanny sense of insight for someone your age." It's been a blessing and a curse.

I'll leave you with two quotes from the late, great Shirley Chisholm, who also mounted a bid for the presidency many decades ago:

"Of my two "handicaps" being female put more obstacles in my path than being black."

"I've always met more discrimination being a woman than being black."

That's old school talking right there and it's something that men of any race will never really understand...I don't really even fault them for it because this "women are weak" thing is drilled into their heads from the moment they can talk. But, this beating of the chest thing, in light of the election season, is downright deplorable. If more of them would only be willing to really try to understand. I guess we can't have it all. So long as they don't en masse stop taking out the trash and washing our cars and keep calling us weak, I'll let some of the machismo slide. Have an awesome day! --SUGAR

The Road Not Taken--Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Woman is the Nigger of the World

If there's one thing this election season is doing for me, it's allowed me to find so many new resources and sites with information that I can appreciate. I was on Taylor Marsh's website, Marsh being someone who I didn't even know existed until I was looking up information on the election this past weekend and saw her name mentioned, when I read a comment from an apparent regular on her site that went something like, "I guess John Lennon and Yoko Ono were right, Woman is the Nigger of the World." The comment was an observation to the way Hillary Clinton has been being raked over the coals like a piece of hickory in the past few weeks. Well, when I saw that title, "Woman is the Nigger of the World", I just had to check that out. I'm glad I did.

As a black woman, I most assuredly have suffered at the hands of racist, bigoted individuals, but by no means do I think all white people are racist. That would be insane. But, when it all boils down, black women and women of any other race are treated like so much trash at any given minute, hour or day all over this globe. Certainly, I'm biased to my own experiences and believe that black women have it worse, but have you seen "Born Into Brothels" or any number of documentaries about how women from various European nations are herded into sex slavery right in this very country and other parts of the world!? Sheesh. There's an experience for you!

I wouldn't call myself a feminist because I wholeheartedly believe in gender roles, much to the chagrin of  some folks who visit this blog from time to time, but I do believe that there needs to be greater unity among those of us who carry around two "X" chromosomes. Just scroll down this page and read the post about the woman who was cut up and cooked by her boyfriend. Women are catching hell all across this orb.

My sorority, the first African-American one, celebrates its 100 year anniversary in just a few days and it's been on my mind so much, because I am very proud of this milestone. It's about so much more than just being able to boast membership or about the vanity of it all. It's about history--for all women, especially African-American women of sororities that came after us. I need to pump my brakes right now before I write the post I intend to write for that day--right now.

What I'm getting at is this. While I expect nothing less than equality and fairness for my fellow African-Americans, I also expect the same for my sisters of black skin and white skin and olive skin and brown skin and every other color in between. Does it always work out that even amongst women we are all treated equally and fairly? Hell no. But, that doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do or that it's not what we should strive to do.

If anyone can truly look at the way the media has been dumping on Hillary Clinton and say that it has been fair, whether they think she's the best candidate for the job or not, I'd implore them to jog in place for about to 10 minutes to get some blood pumping through their heart again, because it must be just about dead. Check out John Lennon's, "Woman is the Nigger of the World" below. Let me know what you think about it. --SUGAR

Match Dot Com Has Lost Its Mind!

I know I'm all January 2nd with this, but Happy New Year. I haven't really been in a blogging mood and my absence from the plantation for over a week has not given me my usual drive and necessity to pass the time with one of my favorite mistakes...blogging. So, sue me. I hope that if you stop by here on a regular basis, you had a great, safe holiday season. I will be stopping by your blogs this evening to sneak a peek at what you've been up to. I hope I haven't missed too much, but I'm sure I have. And, if you are stopping by here for the first time today, I hope you enjoy the view and I hope you too had a safe and joyous holiday season.

Let me first say, YouTube is a bitch. Without rehashing the sordid details, let me just say it took everything in me not to slash tires and bust out windshields all in a fit of shock at how wrong I was about one man. How bamboozled I felt. Anyway, I'm over it now, but a word of caution to anyone reading this. Think twice about what you post up on YouTube...feel me? Good.

I've had a nice long vacation that included lots of rest and relaxation and I think I'll be able to head back into the office tomorrow renewed. I'm excited about the year ahead and I'm glad to be alive. I have so much I want to say, especially with regards to dating and all the like, but let me delve into one subject briefly before I head to Giant to get some crab claws to cook up in here this evening. They better have them in stock too...damn, I hadn't considered that they may not have them. Isn't it the worst when you have your mind set on something only to find out you can't have it?

I was driving my car yesterday, listening to the radio after having donated blood getting the year started off right doing my civic duty and all (don't forget to donate some rice!) when I hear a commercial that I initially thought must have been a parody or something. It was a commercial encouraging people to sign their friends up for Match dot com in order to help them get hooked up. The horror!!! Can you imagine? Can you just imagine? Let me tell Spice and any of my other friends who sneak and read this blog and yet act like they don't--sign me up for some Match dot com without my permission and I will beat yo ass to a pulp. A soupy, slightly lumpy pulp.

I mean, what a horrific thing to do to a person! Have you heard this commercial? Would you do this to a friend? Would you be angry if someone did it to you? Just terrible! Check out Scarface, "Girl You Know" below...just because this song really needs an entire blog to itself, but I don't have the energy today. *sigh* Damn you Scarface!! for making a song that is so damn slimy, but with a beat that can't be ignored!!! --SUGAR

Rub and Tug? Anybody?

I was visiting Don't Date Him Girl last night to check out the new features because they were supposed to relaunch the site on Monday, but it's been a while since I visited, so I can't really tell what's new. Anyway, the site is hilarious and before I go any further, let me say that I don't laugh at the plight of those women in their moment of scorn and derision. I know very well what that's like. However, the way those ads are written is pure comedy!

Last night on the site, I learned that those freaky massage parlors are called "rub and tugs" in some regions and I laughed for a good solid minute as I read the description of one of the alleged losers on that site. Anyway, check them out when you get a chance. I've never made a submission there, but the very asshole that inspired me to join forces with Spice to start this blog almost "got it". I could have written pages and pages about that asshole. It's been almost two years since that train wreck of a relationship ended, but I still pray for God's wrath on his head. Every.Single.Night. I'm kidding. I don't pray for God's wrath on his head [every night], but he does have it coming. Who am I fooling? I'm sure he's already gotten a lot of "it". I just wish I could see it. Somehow though, I always get word of, or get sight of those who have wronged me--paying it all back.

Speaking of paying it all back. Have you donated some rice today? Click on the "Free Rice" button on the right side of the page to do your part to feed some folks today. And, you dumb motherfu*kers [you know who you are], don't give up. Just keep trying to get at least one bowl of rice for the needy! Sheesh! Some of youse will be clicking for an hour to get one damn cup of rice with those paltry vocabularies. If you gotta pull out the dictionary to get some help. Do it! It's all for a worthy cause. Now, let me give you a little treat for all of your hard work. Check out Michael Jackson's "We've Had Enough" below in the unofficial video. I don't care what anybody says about that freak man, he will release a song with a strong message like nobody's business!! So powerful! Your friend. --SUGAR

Alicia Keys Medley

I haven't been to a concert in a minute, so YouTube gives me a great fix from time to time and I stumbled upon some blogosphere gold last night. I figured why should I hog it all. Enjoy some oldies from Alicia Keys during a performance at the Hollywood Bowl below. There's something for everybody. From the saddened to the smittened. --SUGAR

A Lump of Coal in My Stocking

I was talking to my mother last night when she tells me, "Oh I know what I forgot to tell you. Your grandma told me she has a boyfriend..." Yep, insert needle scratching record sound. My grandmother is eighty-fu#king one years old! I was sick to my stomach. Sick because my 81 year old grandma has a man and I don't and sick because my 81 year old grandma is probably getting her old ass waxed or at least sanded with some sandpaper and I'm not. I mean, can it get any worse than this?

I feel like I'm going to meet someone viable soon, but soon isn't now! We'll see. Nino Brown called a ridiculous number of times this past weekend, switching between numbers in a feeble, retardedish way to throw me off, and each time I hit "ignore" so quickly, he couldn't possibly mistake why I'm not answering. I mean, as soon as I see that number, I smash "ignore" like I'm on "Press Your Luck" trying to avoid a "Whammy". He's pressing his luck because I'm just about ready to cuss him out. I was trying to spare his feelings, but harrassing is not tolerable by any stretch.

I haven't heard from the "new guy" since I turned down the invite to the get together a couple of weekends ago, so I should be completely rid of him soon. He knows how to take a hint. He'll call again for sure, but it's that old, "Let me just see where her head is today," call. Not the begging, acting like a damn idiot calls I get from Nino.

Whatever. I've been really getting some things done since I gave The Iteration the old one two. I'm in better physical shape as a whole than I've been in since 2003 and I feel great. I'm going to apply to grad school in the coming weeks and I think a move could be just over the horizon for me in 2008. Which should prove exciting to say the least.

PLUS, in just a few hours, I'll be scooting on over to Best Buy to pick up my fresh out the box copy of Mary Jane Blige's new cd, "Growing Pains" so that trumps grandma's old dried up prunes for balls man any day. Check out her song from last year's "Reflections" album, "We Ride (I See the Future)". Enjoy. --SUGAR